Heck... I'm living my whole life tired.
It happens almost every day. I wake up when I need to or even before I want to and I’m tired. On the way to work I’m yawning. At lunch I want to sleep. I begin to nod off on the way home. About the only time I don’t feel tired is when I’m excited about doing something and I’m distracted by the activity, or the coming inevitability of it, or I am overly tired and I just don’t feel like sleeping any more.
I eat well, I get 7 or 8 hours sleep a night, I exercise regularly and I just can’t figure out what is wrong.
I mean, some time ago, when I had a different lifestyle, that I eventually realised through me being stupid and being in denial that it was also a very destructive lifestyle, I can understand the reasons for me being so tired all the time. But nowadays I just don’t see a reason for it. I try and sleep in, eat better and take care to try and get on top of it but I never seem to be able to.
The worst thing about this is that I feel so stupid and brain-dead half the time, instead of being sharp and ‘on-the-ball’, and there just isn’t any excuse for it. I feel like I’m letting my work colleagues down and my quality of work is suffering and that’s just depressing. If I were doped up on something, at least I would have an excuse. No cold or flu or reactions from related medicines. It sucks big time.
I even steer well away from all drugs because if I get a cold or something and I take anything but vitamin C or Panadol for it, I feel like a space alien floating through the cosmos or some freak jacked up on crazy-juice.
The only times I feel relief from these unforgiving clutches of tiredness is after a nice strong cup of coffee (which is on average less than one per day), when I’m out having fun with friends or sleeping.
I have noticed that a lot of my non-smoking/non-drinking friends also suffer from tiredness a lot but they seem to be leading much busier lives than I do. I don’t even have a full-time job right now.
What the heck is going on with me? I’m not even ever in the frame of mind anymore to turn out even slightly amusing blog entries. S. S. SSSSssss. SSSSSSSS!!
The ‘S’ is for Sucks.
... and sleep.