BAH! I can't believe the stuff I let myself do or not do, just to get along with people. The places I go, the things I miss out on and the stuff I give just to keep things running smoothly in my mostly hopefully (but usually hardly) perfect life.

For starters, late Friday afternoon I get a call from my boss' wife saying "Hi Wayne. We won't need you to come in next week to work for us. We have nothing for you to do. Is that ok?" "Sure, sure, that's fine. That'll be cool." I say without even giving myself five seconds to think of a satisfactory reply. “If you could just come in the week after as usual, that would be great.” she says. As usual I say "No worries. I'll see you then." when in all honesty I should have said something like "Well no. Honestly that isn't ok. It actually jams a fork right in the eye of a generally great week but there probably isn't a lot we can do about that is there? And while I have you, is there any chance you could pay me for the last two weeks? With me not working for you, I’m sure going to need it next week." *also why was it you and not your husband who called me? Was he too scared? And are you sure there is no work I could be doing? I’m sure I could keep myself busy even if I wasn't generating instant turnover (like sourcing new clients and finishing the website you guys started months ago)*

Ok... I'm a bit put off by this for a few reasons. 1) If they have no work for me (and most likely less work and more time for themselves), why haven't they paid me yet? 2) I have a strange feeling that this wasn't the real reason they didn't want me to work next week. I appreciate honesty no matter how hard it is to take. 3) How am I to afford bond and furniture for a new rental place located much closer to you if you don't give me work? 4) How can you guarantee yourself business if you don’t even have a Yellow Pages ad or working website?

Perhaps they would prefer I look elsewhere for cash flow? Ten hours per week at a local restaurant isn’t enough to keep me going. I need to eat, keep my car running and live independently. I’m sure there are other I.T. firms and music stores in the local area who could use what I have to offer. POSSUMS!!!!!!

Enough about that one…

So then there was Sunday. It was all good. Mostly. There was the cool church service followed by yummy cake and scones (with jam and cream!!) which is uber awesome for someone who missed breakfast. Then there was the lunch lovingly provided by fantastic friends, not to mention the car washing and the socialising… The problem was, I wanted to do two things that evening and only had time to possibly do one of them. One was to see the Resin Dogs play in the Valley and the other was to attend a study/discussion night at church. My initial reasoning was that I could go to church anytime and ‘The Dogs’ were not often in town and I should check them out while I had the chance. After asking a few others if they were interested in coming, I was soon questioning my priorities. God or Dogs? I knew without a doubt where I wanted to be but by that stage, others were asking me for a lift to The Dogs and asking others to join them in my car while telling me that I shouldn’t worry about what others thought who shared my ‘God b4 Dogs’ priorities.

What could I do? I had already asked them to come before I changed my mind. They were being insistent. I thought it would be ok, but it ate away at me all afternoon. Maybe the gig would start and finish early then I could get back to catch half of the study? Fat chance. I was lucky to get home before midnight. 

Don’t get me wrong… I enjoyed The Dogs and I certainly wasn’t pulled along kicking and screaming (I drove myself)… but why couldn’t I just say “No” instead of something else that pretty much just kept other people happy and not me?

So… my new financial years’ resolution is this: Learn to say “No” more often. To learn to say it in such ways as “I don’t agree with what’s happening here”, “Excuse me, I was talking and you just interrupted me mid-sentence”, “Usually I love to help but today I have to do ‘this’” and “Your idea is good, but can I suggest that we try ‘this’?” Possibly even something like “You did a crap job with the body kit on my car. Fix it up you slack Asian rip-off merchants!”

                                        After all... besides me, the only person who’s usually there to look out for me is JC.