Catch up on the escapades of the Sunshine Coast's most notorious soft toy. Don't let the soft, hand-knitted exterior fool you. This monkey is full of vengeance, hatred and could strangle you with his tail. He also likes Pina Coladas and walks in the rain.
Published on February 2, 2004 By Theophilus Thistler In Home & Family

I think I know why old people get grumpier as they get older. It's probably a number of reasons, primarily it is a fear of change. They've been changing for their whole younger lives and now that they're comfortable where they're at, and there's plenty of yard work/beer in fridge/sport on TV to be had so they don't have to spend all day talking to the wife, they are reluctant to adopt anything that might be a threat to their way of life. And secondly, now that they are old (mature) & somewhat more responsible, they tend to get vocally offended at the way "kids today just have no respect for authority anymore" and "Look at 'im! He looks like no-one owns 'im! He's got metal in 'is face! Looks like Betsy, our pig!", mainly because they've forgotten how naughty and rebellious they were as kids growing up. I, like most oldies I know, had a well disciplined upbringing but I still did some crazy and silly stuff along the way all the same.

So they're dealing with more traffic, ever changing road rules, street signage, road infrastructure, boating rules, fishing and game regulations and sky-rocketing rate charges. It's no wonder they've been getting a bit shirty.

Don't get me wrong, I know some ripper old blokes and grey-haired foxes. Some of them are some of the most "hip wit what's happenin'" and encouraging people I know. I know this one old minx that says she likes to get out and mix it up with the kids when they're dancing at her church. She's 82. What a champ! None of the old folks in my family are too bad either, probably because they have so many kids and grandkids to keep up with and an ever-expanding family circle, so they are just sort of swept along by everything and don't get much time to sit and be complacent. My Pop, God Bless him, was a bit of a cranky bum, but all you had to do was get the kids to play with him and maybe punch his 'substantial' rock hard gut a few times and his face would light up like a Christmas tree.

Old people are, overall, awesome. They have loads of experience and knowledge that can be applied to us today, just as well as it was when they learnt it. It's just like always, the vocal minority spoils it for the rest.

And in case you're wondering why I'm ranting on old people? No reason. It's not that often that my mind has 'normal' trains of thought. I often find myself in deep thought about the weirdest things. Fully deconstructing scenarios and objects in my mind to figure out how they work. I'm wee-ord. I'm logical. All Wayne.

... all gone.


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